"Every child carries the invisible fingerprints of the home that raised them."
Early in her career working in schools, Emem Opashi noticed something striking: conversations about academics often revealed deeper stories about family life, behavior, and the unseen pressures shaping children.
Over time, one pattern became impossible to ignore: the classroom often reflects the living room.
Drawing on years of experience as an education strategist and child protection advocate, Emem invites families to pause, reflect, and intentionally build homes that raise resilient, grounded, emotionally healthy children.
Because the future we see in society is often the childhood we created at home.
We created this — and we can build something better.
FOREWORD
When I look back, I can see a clear thread in my life’s work: I have always been supporting families from diverse backgrounds.
My first ever post-university role as a teaching assistant in a multicultural international school opened my eyes. What began as simple conversations where parents would stay back a little to talk about academics gradually deepened into discussions about behavior concerns, home dynamics, and sometimes even their marriages. I started to notice a pattern; the classroom often reflects the living room. Behind every child’s performance is a family story.
The idea for this book was planted more than 5 years ago. While hosting one of our large-scale annual events, we were observing a group of dynamic youth making a solid presentation and the question on most people’s lips was ‘what school are they in? Which school are they representing?
Everyone was admiring the results of what we these young students had probably practiced extensively over time.
On the flip side, while serving on the Senior Leadership Team at a high school, we were having a conversation with the principal and other team members, referring to some of the prevalent behaviors seen amongst students such as a reduced regard for school attendance, lack of respect for adults and other stuff. Coincidentally, the principal and I chorused at the same time “well, we created this!” and then burst out laughing!
We Created This is a culmination of those years, the experiences, observations, hard reality-checks, practical tools, and solutions I’ve gathered along the way. “If we helped shape the patterns we see today, then we also have the power to shape better ones.”
This book is designed to be a clarion call to parents, a call that rises above the noise, the distractions, and the ever-changing narratives about what it means to raise a child in today’s world. It is a call to awareness, to intentionality, and to courage.
At a time when systems are stretched, values are shifting, and the pressures on families are real and unrelenting, parenting cannot be passive. This book invites parents, caregivers, and all who play a role in raising the next generation to step fully into that responsibility, not with fear, but with clarity and purpose. It is a reminder that parenting is not just about
meeting needs, but about shaping lives. Not just about hard truths that cannot be ignored, and practical insights meant to guide, not overwhelm you. This is not a book of perfection, but of awareness. Not a set of rigid rules, but a framework for thinking, responding, and engaging more intentionally with the children entrusted to us.
This clarion call is not meant to alarm, but to awaken. To remind us that the environments we create, the values we model, and the conversations we choose to have (or avoid) all contribute to the kind of adults our children will become and, ultimately, the kind of society we are building together. Because behind every system are people. Behind every statistic is a child. And behind every child is a family whose influence matters more than we often realize. May this book meet you where you are, but not leave you there. May it challenge you, equip you, and most importantly, remind you of the profound role you play. The call is clear. The time is now.
There are loads of treasure and nuggets embedded in each chapter, dive in and enjoy.
About The Author
Emem Opashi
Emem Opashi is an education strategist and child protection advocate passionate about helping families and institutions better understand the forces shaping children's lives. She has been married to her husband Bankole for 28 years, and together they have three grown children.